Second therapist talk

My beloved has had her second talk with her therapist. I am cautiously optimistic that she may come around and accept me someday. It seems, however, that some childhood issues with her and her mother are surfacing and interfering with her thought processes. These she will have to work out on her own.

She has been hinting that I should dress more at home, just not TOO much. After all, someone might see me. Panties are all right as is some sleepwear. But no skirts or makeup or wigs or breastforms. We have a ways to go, it seems.

Perhaps a change of scenery is called for. Should we move, no one in her family will be able to see and perhaps she will be more willing to accept me in female clothing. I don't know for sure.

As for me, my medical condition seems to have improved but I doubt enough to be called stable or "under control" enough to permit hormone administration anytime soon. I will be seeing my doctor next week and I will try to pin him down to some kind of answer on when this stable period might be. I need to be able to be reasonably sure that I will be stable for the three years that HRT will take without interruption. If that means removal of my thyroid and it's possible, then so be it.

THere may be some wiggle room in the SOC for people with medical issues to alter the usual sequence of events in a transition. I'm thinking that orchiectomy at first might be an option worth considering with my doctor. That would remove the need for anti-androgen therapy and allow much lower doses of estrogen, which in turn will reduce the impact on my thyroid. Time will tell.

Anyway, it's too early to call it regarding therapy for her. And I have yet to even start. So I'm jumping the gun here. But I want to begin therapy as soon as we get me into a better-paying job so I can afford my transition. I have several possibilities in mind, any one of which would be enough and leave me happier on the whole than the last job, which was beating me down.

I am planning a mostly stealth transition on the job due to the possibility of my being killed by some redneck with personal masculinity insecurity. That would not be good for me in the long run.

In the meantime, my wife isn't really interested in assisting me in selecting new clothes or anything else. She is willing to measure me and shop online but I really need to try things on to see how they fit and hang before buying online. It is also possible that my clothes will have to be altered professionally to fit my larger-than-usual frame. Some won't, of course but I don't know which until I've tried things on and found styles, colors and sizes that look good on me.

I need a mentor and there are none available! Sure there are personal consultants who specialize in this area, but who has the money to pay them? Maybe if I win the lottery but I doubt THAT is in my future. I've resorted to asking online friends to help via email, THAT'S how desperate I've become!

Sigh!

More to come...